Behind the Looks
by NephilimEQ
Summary: Some snippets about the looks that Hotch and JJ have shared and what they *really* mean... Meant to be individual ONE-SHOTS! *Not* a continuous plot-line.
1. Looks 1 & 2

**Season 7 - Episode 2 - "Proof" - Looks #1 & #2**

"Now…in a large pan, we fry up our pancetta, keeping a sharp eye that our edges are crisp," Rossi explained as he pushed the ingredients around the pan.

"But," Hotch interrupted, "Careful not to burn the onions."

"Bravo, Aaron! ...Now we sauté until translucence."

Hotch exchanged a quick glance with JJ, remembering their own debacle with cooking the dish that Dave was showing them…

* * *

><p>"Aaron, I just got off the phone with your sister-in-law and she said that she was glad to take the boys for the night!"<p>

Hotch smiled at JJ's pronouncement, pleased that everything was coming together for their night in.

He pushed the ingredients of the pancetta around the pan, taking care to pay special attention to the edges, making sure that they didn't burn. As his attention was focused on the red color he felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around his waist.

He grinned, but tried to focus instead on the food that he was cooking.

He then felt a nibble at his ear, further distracting him from what he was trying to do.

"JJ," he said with a note of warning in his voice.

She ignored him and continued to worry her teeth against the soft flesh of his ear. He suppressed a groan at the sensation that shot down his spine as she did it. He struggled to make sure that he was getting it right, but JJ was partially succeeding in her endeavors.

"Aaron," she said in a sweet sing-song voice.

He continued to try to ignore her, but found himself failing miserably. The woman knew his weak spots.

He then felt her tongue swipe along just behind his ear, on his neck, in_ just_ the right spot…

He snapped, dropping the spatula into the pan and dropped the pan back onto the stove, briefly noting that it had burned. Quickly, he turned off the burner and turned around, grasping her upper arms in his hands and dragging her lips up to his in a bruising kiss.

The next thing JJ knew, Hotch had hoisted her up onto the counter behind her and maneuvered himself between her legs, wrapping one arm tightly around her waist, the lower halves of their bodies meeting together with _just_ the right pressure.

She moaned as he inched one hand up under her black dress along her thigh, taking the material with it…

* * *

><p>"You see…it's all about timing and rhythm. And if you don't feel yourself doing it properly…" Rossi continued to explain, "Please…order a pizza."<p>

JJ and Hotch exchanged another look, Hotch briefly noting that she was wearing the same dress that she'd worn on that particular night, and both of them fondly remembered what had happened later on that same evening…

* * *

><p>They lay on the bed, sweaty limbs wrapped around each other, both of them trying to catch their breath.<p>

Aaron was the first to speak.

"I burned the pancetta…Dave would be so disappointed in me. He gave me private lessons, thinking that I was going to be impressing some woman that I'd met at work…"

He gave her a look from where his head lay on her stomach and she grinned.

"Well," she said drawing out the syllables. "You weren't lying…you _did _meet me at work…" She lifted an eyebrow. "…seven years ago."

He nodded, a grin at the corner of his lips, and absentmindedly began to trace circles on the smooth skin of her stomach with his thumb. His thoughts drifted for a moment, and then the silence was broken by both of their stomachs rumbling at once.

They laughed and he gave her a look, propping himself up on one arm next to her prone body.

"Pizza?"

She grinned and gave him a quick kiss.

"Pizza sounds great."

* * *

><p><strong>END PART 1?**


	2. Look 3

**Season 7 - Episode 10 - "The Bittersweet Science" - Look #3**

Garcia leaned forward on her chair and spoke into her monitor. "Okay, Rossi. Out with it. Is. Hotch. Dating?

Rossi leaned forward in his airplane seat. "I. Don't. Know."

Reid quickly interjected with a statistic, not surprising to anyone on the plane. "You know, statistically, widowed men start dating much faster than females, but Hotch is refuting the data. It's been two years and nineteen days."

That did not sit well with Garcia, so she quickly interrupted.

"Venus has aligned with Mars, which means love is in the air…"

Everyone on the plane started slightly as Hotch returned from the bathroom, but none of them found the courage to interrupt Garcia, so she kept going.

"…and maybe we will get weekends off!"

She let out a slight exclamation at the idea, but then Morgan cleared his throat and Prentiss bit her lip.

"What?" Garcia asked, obviously confused…and then it dawned on her. "Is he standing there? He's standing there, isn't he…" They all watched in some amusement as her expression turned to one of mortification as Hotch replied with…

"Hello, Garcia."

She turned her eyes down and away from the camera. "Hello, someone talk about the case…"

Unseen by everyone was the look that their intimidating boss shared with their blonde liaison officer as he sat down next to her. JJ let a small smile escape the corner of her mouth and watched as one escaped the corner of Hotch's lips, as well.

Actually, he _had_ been dating…

* * *

><p>JJ adjusted her dark blue knit dress and brushed invisible lint off of it, and then she noticed that her hands were shaking.<p>

_Get a grip girl_, she told herself. _It's just Hotch…you know, your friend, Aaron Hotchner?_

But of course, the back of her mind also reminded her that he'd been her superior for the last seven years and that she was actually, for the first time ever, going on a date with him. She noticed her hands were still shaking and quickly found something to occupy them with.

She ran her fingers through her hair, praying that things would go alright.

There was a knock at the door and she felt her heart stop.

This was it…

* * *

><p>They had now been dating for nearly a year, and she already had a drawer over at his place, as well as several of Henry's books and toys and a couple of his small play outfits.<p>

Of course, they had kept everything a secret. No one knew, and she was slightly surprised that no one had figured it out. A team of the best profilers in the world…and not one of them had picked up on the fact that Hotch was actually smiling every now and again? That he wasn't working late into the night?

JJ smiled to herself at that fact. Of course he wasn't working late anymore…he was coming home to her almost every night.

She inwardly smiled to herself, while carefully listening to what was being said about the case, the back of her mind distinctly aware of Hotch's presence next to her own.

He was a silent comfort and reassurance…and even though she longed to grasp his hand, she took solace in his nearness instead.

* * *

><p><strong>END PART 2?**


	3. Looks 4 & 5

**Season 6 - Episode 2 - "JJ" - PART I - Looks #4 & #5**

"I have given it thought," JJ said carefully. "I'm not interested."

Strauss gave her a look.

"Clearly," she said in a sharp tone. "You turned down the job twice without even consulting your Unit Chief."

JJ looked over at Hotch and then back at Strauss.

Hotch's voice was level and calm as he responded to the tone in Strauss's voice. "Agent Jareau is under no obligation to discuss it with me."

Strauss shot him a look, and quickly replied, "If the Pentagon calls one of your team members, you should know about it." She turned her gaze from the unit chief over to the blonde media liaison. "Why didn't you tell Agent Hotchner that you'd turned down the position?"

JJ closed her eyes briefly and then opened them, not quite believing that this conversation was happening.

"I never wanted it to _get_ this far because-"

"Because you _know_ that it's a better job," Strauss said, cutting her off and giving her a pointed look.

JJ retaliated.

"Because I don't want to leave this one," she snapped.

At this, Hotch looked over at the woman that he'd known for seven years and felt a pang in his chest. Of course she wouldn't want to leave this one…not when the two of them were involved in the way that was most _certainly_ against Bureau regulations.

* * *

><p>JJ turned over in the bed and smiled at the sight of the man under the covers next to her.<p>

Dark, tousled hair lay on the pillow where her lover's head rested and she resisted the urge to reach out and run her fingers through it, for fear of waking him.

He looked so peaceful when he slept…so rested. It was quite a change from the way he was at work. However, JJ felt privileged to know this side of him, the side that practically no one else knew about their stolid and scarily intense head figure.

They weren't supposed to have happened, but they had.

And she couldn't be any more happy or content with her life. She had been offered a job on two separate occasions by the Pentagon, but turned them down without a second thought.

She would not leave Aaron, no matter what happened…

* * *

><p>Strauss gave her a sharp look. "You've been here for six years-"<p>

"Nearly seven, ma'am."

Strauss ignored the rudeness, focusing on what had to be said. "Change is good…"

Neither of them noticed the almost pained look that crossed Hotch's face as he heard Strauss speak those words, and he quickly ducked his head so that neither of them would see the internal agony that he was in at that moment. It was too much to bear.

Strauss continued. "And from what I understand there's less travel with this position. You could stay home with Henry."

JJ looked at the woman in shock, not quite believing what she was hearing from her mouth.

"Excuse me?"

She was unable to hide the incredulity in her tone, and was surprised by the look in Strauss's eyes as she responded.

"I understand the sacrifices," the older woman said, but JJ stopped her.

She stared the woman down as she spoke. "I do what I love, it's made me a better person, a better mother…and any sacrifices that I have _made_ have been for my family." She then turned her eyes over to Hotch as she spoke her next words. "I don't have a _single_ regret."

Hotch heard the message loud and clear. She still loved him, and would do it all over again…as would he.

Hotch finally spoke up.

"We're all in agreement that Agent Jareau is a valuable part of this team," he started, and then glanced up to JJ. "And it's understandable why the executive branch is requesting the transfer…"

He then looked back at Strauss and carefully phrased his next few words.

"However, if Agent Jareau respectfully declines the request," he looked back at JJ, and she realized what he was saying before he finished. "There's no way you can make her go."

He stared at Strauss, a firmness in his eyes that he was sure Strauss could easily see. Hotch just hoped she didn't see the real reason why he was fighting for his agent to stay. The truth of the matter was that he was doing it for entirely selfish reasons, and not out of the goodness for the team.

Strauss just stared at him, and he saw something that made him internally flinch. She knew.

The woman looked up at JJ, who simply stared back.

She let out a sigh, and in a resigned tone said, "No. I can't."

A look of relief crossed JJ's face and Hotch watched as her body seemed to relieve all of the tension that she'd been previously holding…they were good…they were safe.

"Have you looked at the video of the missing girl?" Strauss asked, and Hotch nodded.

"Everyone's watching it now."

Strauss rose from her chair, her body language reading defeat. "You're expected in Maryland within the hour."

Hotch rose from his chair as well, nodding his head.

"We'll be there."

Just before the woman left the room, he said, "Thank you." But he received no answer, not that he had expected to receive one, anyway. Suddenly, it was just him and JJ in his office. The two of them. Alone. But together.

JJ turned to go, but he stopped her. "JJ…Pentagon?"

She saw the pain in his face, and knew what he was referring to…

* * *

><p>"Sir…Sir, thank you for the offer, but the answer is no." The man on the other end of the line tried to protest, but she repeated herself. "My answer is <em>no<em>."

With that she hung up the phone, and then smiled as she felt a pair of warm arms wrap themselves around her waist.

"Who was that?"

Hotch's warm, low tones washed through her and she sighed, leaning her body against his as he stood behind her.

"Nobody," she replied, a wistful sigh in her tone. "Just some stupid telemarketer on the phone trying to convince me that I needed new metal siding for my home."

He let out a soft chuckle and she smiled at the sound.

He had such a wonderful voice and his laughter was, she thought, one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. She turned in his arms and slid her hands up to his shoulders and then hooked them around his neck, looking up into his glinting eyes.

"Let's just enjoy the evening, shall we?"

Hotch nodded, and then proceeded to lift her into his arms and take her to the bedroom…

* * *

><p>"Sorry I didn't tell you," she said, true regret lacing her tone.<p>

He gave her a look.

"It's okay," he reassured her, but she could hear the barely concealed pain at the fact that she'd not told him. "It's just a big deal…a liaison for the Department of Defense, it's a major promotion."

She ducked her head, unable to meet his eyes…and then was slightly shocked at the next question he asked.

"Are you sure you don't want this?"

JJ felt her resolve harden, and she lifted her head to meet his gaze.

"Hotch…I belong here."

Both of them could hear the firm conviction in her tone and Hotch could see it in her eyes. Yes, she did belong here…with him. They held each other's gaze for a moment, both of them drinking the moment in, holding onto it for a micro-second before she had to go back out into the bullpen.

She then turned and walked out of his office, smiling in her head as she saw Prentiss, Reid and Garcia all quickly turn away, trying to pretend that they hadn't been staring at their Unit Chief's door the entire time that she'd been in there.

JJ wondered if any of them knew, or at least suspected…but she doubted it.

Her and Hotch had a system.

At work, she was either JJ or Agent Jareau, and he was either Hotch or Agent Hotchner. Outside of work, they were simply Jen and Aaron, because only her mother and Will called her Jennifer.

They had never slipped, and they were both perfectly capable of compartmentalizing their emotions for each other while on cases.

But at times it was hard…especially when he put himself into dangerous situations. Situations that could easily go wrong and end up with him on a cold metal slab. She constantly had to force those thoughts to the side, but they burned brightly in her mind whenever the possibility arose.

She walked down towards her office, only to see Rossi standing there.

"You think profilers would cover better than that, wouldn't you?"

There was a look in his eyes, and she had the vague idea that he might have an inkling of what was going on between her and Hotch. And the particular wording of his rhetorical question, the faint double meaning…yes, she finally concluded in her mind.

He knew.

* * *

><p><strong>END PART 3?**


	4. Looks 6, 7, 8, and on and on and on

**A.N. - Yes, this is word for word from the last scenes of this episode, so not much creativity there. But the inside perspective is entirely mine, my own creative license! Please read and review! I live for reviews!**

* * *

><p><strong>Season 6 - Episode 2 - "JJ" - PART II - Looks #6, #7, #8…well, you get the idea here! Too many to count!<strong>

JJ picked up the case files from the table, silently thankful that the case had been so successful.

The girl, Kate, had held on for three days in the ocean. If that wasn't strength, then she didn't know what was. JJ took one last look at the picture and pressed the button on the small remote…and she could see a faint reflection in the black glass.

She knew it was Hotch.

"When do I leave?" she asked quietly, not even turning around.

Hotch looked down at his hands, worrying the file between them. "At the end of the week."

At that, she wheeled around to face him, not believing what she was hearing. No, it couldn't be that soon…she couldn't leave him that soon. She needed more time, anything to give her just a few more nights with the man in front of her.

"What?"

He heard the shock in her voice, so he explained, glancing down at the paper in his hands, avoiding eye contact.

"They wanted you to start tomorrow…"

She stuttered as she responded. "N-No, no-I, I can't, I need to train someone-"

He cut her off. "I'm not replacing you."

The weight of the words hit her with the subtlety of a freight train. He was letting her go as a member of the team, but he was not going to give up without a fight. She could hear the double meaning behind them as well…he would wait for her.

She protested. "No, Hotch, you can't take this on yourself, your hands are full…"

He began to walk towards her, finally meeting her eyes with his concerned gaze and she felt the warmth of it wash through her.

"We'll figure it out," he said in a soft voice. "I'm hoping I can get you back."

She again could hear the double meaning in his words as he spoke to her, and was painfully aware that this wasn't just a normal goodbye…it was also his way of parting ways with her until he could find a way to be with her again.

There was a moment of weighted silence, and JJ didn't dare try to break it. Everything was hard enough as it was.

Hotch finally handed her the papers that were in his hands.

"Strauss wanted you to fill this out," he said, his eyes sparking slightly as their fingers brushed against each other.

JJ wanted to cry.

"Exit interview…are you kidding me?"

The look in her eyes was almost more than he could bear, but he took the chance to memorize her face, well aware of the fact that he would not be seeing it for a long time afterwards. A face that he knew so well and never wanted to forget.

He was hesitant to speak, but he had to.

"She's big on procedure…just be honest." _But not too honest_, he silently added.

It was okay if Strauss suspected as long as neither of the admitted to anything, but if an actual real word was said, then the two of them would never work together again in the BAU.

Finally, he told her want he'd been wanting to tell her since he'd walked into the room.

"I was hoping that I could do something about this," he said sincerely, his eyes showing the pain that he was in. "…And I'm sorry I couldn't."

JJ gave him a look, one that he would recognize anywhere. It said that she knew that he had done everything he could…and that she didn't blame him at all for anything that had happened. He had seen it after cases on numerous occasions.

"I know," was all she said, but it was enough.

She turned her eyes away and looked out the window down into the bullpen at the rest of her teammates. She then said the only thing she could think of.

"How am I supposed to tell them I'm leaving when I don't even want to go?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, he could hear the double meaning in them. She didn't want to leave him. She would do anything to stay…but they both knew that the only possible way for her to come back would be to back away from this battle now, so that they might be able to fight again and win the war later.

Hotch said the only thing he could think of.

"The brass is really, really good at taking the power away…makes them feel like they're in charge."

She gave him a slight smile.

"That sounds like a profile."

A sound that could have been a chuckle at any other time, but now just seemed a way to relieve the tension escaped his lips. He then looked up and caught her eye, trying to make her understand that he would stay strong and find a way to get her back.

"You're going to be much better off than any of us, you know that?"

JJ looked back up at him, and suddenly he found three words lodged in his throat and he wanted nothing more than to say them, to hear them out loud, just once, and her eyes seemed expectant, as though waiting for him to say them…but he was painfully aware that if he said them, it would sound like a goodbye, so instead he said…

"I'll miss you."

She wanted nothing more than to embrace him in that moment, and it was painfully obvious that he wanted the same, but both of them were aware of where they were and the fact that everyone could see through the blinds into where they stood across from each other…so, instead he reached forward with his hand and gently gripped her own, his eyes seeming to lose their brilliance…and all she could think was that she would give anything to see his eyes smile again.

He dropped her hand and then turned and walked out of the conference room, completely aware of the fact that she held his heart in her hands…and that he held her heart in his.

She heard his door slam…the only time he'd ever done that. And that moment was when she realized…

It was really happening.

She was leaving, he was staying.

She crumpled down into a chair, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. No, she would remain strong…no one would see her cry.

JJ did not look outside as she wrote down her answers on the paper in front of her, on her exit interview. If Strauss wanted to procedure, then, damn her, JJ was going to show her procedure! She would write down what mattered the most…

"_I'm thankful for my years spent with this family…for everything we shared, for every chance we had to grow…I'll take the best of them with me, and lead by their example wherever I go. A friend told me to be honest with you, so, here it goes…"_

And instead of writing the truth, that she had found how to love again because of Aaron Hotchner, she hesitated…and simply wrote this:

"_This isn't what I want, but I will take the high road…Maybe it's because I look at everything as a lesson, or because I don't want to walk around angry, or maybe it's because I finally understand. There are things we don't want to happen, but have to accept. Things that we don't want to know, but have to learn…"_

She paused and then wrote the words that she _could_ write.

"_And people we can't live without, but have to let go…"_

She knew that Garcia would get a hold of this somehow and that Hotch would somehow read it. She wanted him to see these words and know that they were about him and for him.

She folded the paper in her hand and stood…this was it.

It was over…

…for now.

* * *

><p><strong>END OF PART 4?**


	5. One Sided Glance

**Season 7 - Episode 4 - "Painless" - One-Sided Glance**

"So…" Hotch said, drawing the syllables out. "How'd you get by in Paris?"

Emily sighed and leaned her head back, moving a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Uhm, I, uhm…I…I played a lot of online Scrabble…"

Hotch's lips twitched into a slight smile.

"…With some girl named Cheetoh Breath," she finished, giving a look over his shoulder.

Hotch looked over his shoulder and smiled when he saw JJ and, in her hand, a bag of Cheetohs. Oh yes, he knew all about _that_ particular addiction of JJ's…in fact, he knew it very personally. He smiled as he looked back at Prentiss, but not for the reasons she thought…

* * *

><p>He woke up in his bed to find an empty space next to him, where there shouldn't have been one…<p>

Now where had that woman gotten off to?

He threw himself out from under his covers and grabbed his boxers from off the floor, pulling them on over his bare hips, and then walked out of the room, padding down the hallway towards the kitchen. He could hear a faint crunching sound, and he had a hunch…

As he came into view of the kitchen, he smiled and grinned at the sight that greeted him.

There was his blonde-haired angel.

JJ sat on the counter, wearing one of his old Georgetown sweaters, swinging her legs back and forth like a schoolgirl, and in her hands, as he'd suspected, was a large bag of Cheetohs that she'd apparently found hidden in the back of his pantry…he should have known that she would eventually find them.

He watched in amusement as she popped another cheese-dust coated morsel into her mouth, and then finally decided to walk in.

JJ looked up at him in surprise and some embarrassment, obviously ashamed of being caught in her guilty pleasure, but he just flashed her an understanding smile.

He walked to the counter and positioned himself between her legs and stole a Cheetoh from the bag.

She gave him a mock look of anger, but then smiled.

"Sorry…didn't mean to wake you."

He just grinned and stole another Cheetoh from the bag. He quickly chewed and swallowed and then said…

"I don't mind. I just, you know, missed you." He gave her a suggestive look. "The bed was getting cold without you there."

She grinned in return and before she realized what was happening he had stolen a kiss from her, swiping his tongue between her lips for a brief moment.

JJ moaned…he tasted like Cheetohs.

Hotch let out a slight moan as well, also feeling slightly turned on by the taste of Cheetohs on her breath, knowing that the morsels had been on her tongue in her mouth only moments before.

Soon, before he could think about what he was doing, he threw the bag to the side, placed his hands on either side of her head and then brought her lips to his for mind-numbingly deep, thorough and searching kiss.

Their tongues battled for dominance, and the entire time all he could think was…

_Cheetohs have never tasted so good…_

* * *

><p><strong>Part 5?**


	6. You Don't Know What You're Talking About

**Season 7 - Episode 9 - "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy" - You Don't Know What You're Talking About**

"You keep telling me that I have problems trusting people," Morgan said, almost directly in Hotch's face. "But from where I'm standing, you're the one who can't trust anyone with anything..."

And with that, Derek walked away, while Hotch bit down on his tongue, keeping his words from flying out.

_You have no idea what the _hell_ you're talking about, Derek Morgan_, was what he wanted to yell after his agent, but he didn't.

Rossi approached, and Hotch said…

"Any sign of Josh?"

The older man shook his head. "Towser's still looking."

With that, Hotch turned and walked down the hall, silently fuming in his mind, thinking on Derek's words and the truth that he wanted to show him…

* * *

><p>Aaron Hotchner slipped back under the covers, sliding close next to the warm body in his bed.<p>

The blonde-haired angel shifted in her sleep and her arms wrapped around his waist, and he started slightly, not realizing she was awake.

"Sorry I woke you," he whispered into her ear, but she just shook her head against his chest.

"It's okay," she mumbled. "I don't mind."

He smiled and brushed JJ's hair from her face and looked down at her with a soft look in his eyes. She truly was an angel, of that much he was certain…who else put up with him when no one else would? Who else could make him break down his walls in mere seconds just by giving him a look?

He absentmindedly ran his hand across her bare shoulder and then reached down and pulled the covers tighter over both of them as she shivered.

She lifted her head from his chest and he watched her blue eyes darken slightly as she gave him an indecipherable look.

"Aaron…what's wrong?"

He started to shake his head, saying, "Nothing…" but she cut him off with a gentle finger to his lips.

"Don't."

He relented.

"I…It's just…" He paused a moment, collecting his thoughts, and turned so that he lay on his back staring at the ceiling with her on his chest. He rubbed her back absently and then continued. "You're the first person I've let in, in a long time…and it's scaring me a bit."

She propped herself up with a hand on his chest, leveling her eyes with his.

"Scaring you? What do you mean by that?"

He sighed and then relented.

"I haven't let anyone in, not really, since Haley…and even with her, it took me years." He then gave her a serious look, but one that was filled with wonder. "But with _you_…it took seconds. And, to be honest, it terrifies me how easily I put my heart in your hands…how easily I trusted you."

She gave him a soft smile.

"Maybe it's because you knew that I've always trusted you…"

With that, she leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on the lips which he deepened slightly, before letting her pull away. She lay back down on his chest and ran her hand across it, her fingertips gently caressing the few scars that still covered his skin.

She placed a gentle kiss over his heart and he felt her lips curve into a smile.

"…and it's easy to give yourself to someone, when they've already been there for you for years."

He smiled, and listened to her breathing even out and he soon followed…

* * *

><p><strong>END PART 6?**


	7. I'm Not Avoiding Moving On

**Season 7 - Episode 10 - "The Bittersweet Science" - I'm Not Avoiding Moving On**

"I'm pretty sure Haley wouldn't want you to avoid moving on," Rossi said, attempting to give Hotch advice.

Hotch cut him off.

"I'm not avoiding moving on," he protested, trying not to reveal the truth of his statement in a way that would expose what he'd been hiding for the past, oh, almost year. "I'm just…not sure."

But Rossi persisted. "Not sure? Not sure about what? About a bike ride?"

Aaron bit the inside of his lip, trying not to betray the fact that the only reason why he was even considering it was because the truth was that he needed the competition to get him a better time and push him a little bit harder…he already _had_ a romantic relationship.

Not that he would ever let Rossi know that.

"Aaron, I know you think it's too soon, but you're no good to anyone when you're miserable," Rossi insisted.

Hotch truly had to keep from smiling at that comment. JJ had told him that he had better keep up his stoic persona while at work, or else every single person on the team would know that something was up, and that the first person to figure it out would Penelope Garcia, and did he really want that?

Instead, he simply said, "I'm not miserable."

"Eh, you may be slightly uptight…"

Hotch let a grin slip past his lips at his friend's comment. Yes…that's what JJ had said about him two nights ago, but he had certainly changed her mind in a hurry.

He gave into Rossi, drawing on some of the acting classes that he'd taken his freshman year of college.

"Alright, I'll give you slightly uptight," he said.

Rossi continued, ignoring him. "But if there's one thing I learned following Caroline's death, it's that life is short. And you deserve to be happy."

Hotch was grateful for his friend's concern, but he was already as happy as he could be. JJ was in his bed almost every night, except when they were on a case, and, sometimes, even then, and he had never felt more sure of anything in his life.

He nodded. "I know."

"Then have a good time."

He nodded yet again as Rossi exited his office. "Thanks."

As soon as Rossi left, he picked up his phone, which he'd had on silent, and smiled as he saw that he had three text messages from JJ.

"_Rossi left yet? Bought Chinese, c u at eight?"_

"_He's still there? Kick him out… I bought strawberries. ;)"_

He grinned at that one…and then he saw that the last message had a photo attached to it, with just one word. _Look._ He intended to just glance at it, but suddenly his eyes were glued to the screen. Quickly, he snapped the phone closed and hastily grabbed his briefcase as he bolted out the door.

This was going to be one hell of a great night…

* * *

><p><strong>END PART 7?**


	8. Her Secret Look

**Season 1 - Episode 16 - "The Tribe" - Her Secret Look**

JJ winced slightly as she heard some vehement words exchanged in her boss's office, and then a young man came barreling down the stairs, his motorcycle helmet in his hands.

"Here he comes," Garcia whispered, her eyes completely glued to the man in front of them.

The media liaison couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"_That's_ Hotch's brother?" she said, looking at the blonde poser in the leather jacket with a look of disdain, her tone reflecting the look. However the other two girls perceived it as one of approval and they both nodded,their' eyes glued to the junior Hotchner as he passed.

JJ could only take their word for it…Hotch was much better looking by a long shot. So, she responded with…

"I don't see it."

Hotch called out to his brother. "Sean, listen to me, all I'm saying is that you're twenty-five years old-"

"You know what…_don't_ profile me, Aaron!"

He then walked away, and JJ snuck a glance at the younger brother's behind…and she saw it.

Huh, who knew…they shared the same ass.

"_Now_ I see it," was all she said, pretending that it was the attitude that reminded her of her boss, when in fact it was simply a single characteristic. A characteristic that, according to her, looked better on the older Hotchner by a long shot.

She looked back up and saw Hotch staring at her…which meant he'd probably seen her perusal of his younger brother.

JJ ducked her head and decidedly went about her own business.

At least, this way, he had no idea of her attraction to him, which let her breathe easier for the time being…and then Hotch turned.

She smiled and turned her head slightly, observing him as he walked back into his office, mentally comparing…oh yes. The older Hotchner man wore that particular asset much better, no pun intended, of course.

* * *

><p><strong>END PART 8?**


	9. Only They Know the Truth

**Season 4 - Episode 7 - "In Memoriam", Season 3 - Episode 20 - "Lo-Fi" - Only They Know the Truth**

JJ approached Emily's desk, Jordan following behind her.

"Emily," she said, catching her attention. "You remember Agent Todd?"

Prentiss stood up from her desk and shook the rookie's hand. "Oh, yeah, hi…welcome back."

Todd shared a look with the other agent, and it was obvious to both JJ and Emily that the woman was incredibly nervous. "Yeah, thanks. I'll be shadowing JJ for the next couple of weeks."

Emily tilted her head, knowing what lay in store for the hesitant agent.

"Big shoes to fill," Prentiss said to Agent Todd, and then JJ interjected with,

"Ugh," said their blonde media-liaison. "Big ankles, at least…"

Both Todd and Prentiss laughed at her comment and then Todd spoke up. "Oh, come on, you look great…"

"Yeah, that's what I keep telling her!" Emily insisted.

"Do you have kids, too, or…?" Todd inquired and Emily immediately shot it down.

"Uh, no." She then gave her friend a significant look, one of some respect. "I think JJ may have snared the last viable donor…" "Tell me about it."

Suddenly, Hotch's voice came out of nowhere…

"Donor for what?"

He looked up at the three agents, and watched in concealed amusement as Emily quickly tried to cover her tracks, making sure that he didn't know what the three women were talking about, trying to keep him from an awkward conversation. JJ intervened.

"Uh, nothing. I was just reacquainting Agent Todd here with the layout," she said, motioning towards the greenie.

Hotch looked up from the report and shook the agent's hand…the entire time completely aware of what the actual conversation had been, and he tried not to grin at what JJ was doing. It was almost ironic…or was it called something else?

Whatever it was called, it was amusing, considering that no one but he and JJ knew the truth about her baby…and the fact that he was the father.

She flashed back to when he'd found out…

* * *

><p>They walked through the hotel lobby and JJ saw Hotch look over in surprise at someone sitting in the lounge. And then Reid said her name.<p>

"JJ…"

She followed his gaze…it was Will.

Oh no…could the man have picked a worse time to come by?

She had only just told Will that she was pregnant, but she hadn't had the chance to tell Hotch…and to tell him that _he_ was the one who was the father, and _not_ Will. _Oh please, oh please, don't say anything_, she silently prayed, but a few moments later, he put her in an impossible position, forcing her to turn around and say…

"I'm pregnant…"

Everyone's reactions seemed positive, and she watched Will exchange a handshake with Hotch, and _then_ Will had to go and mention the marriage proposal.

Quickly, Hotch said, "We'll, uh, give you both some privacy."

And then he quickly started to pull away, the first to walk away from the group and JJ felt her heart tear…

"Hotch-"

He turned towards her, a look on his face she couldn't figure out. "JJ, you could have told me."

She could hear the faint pain that he tried to hide, but she knew him too well. Anyone else might not have noticed it, but after years of being around the man and endless nights in his arms reading his beautiful face while he slept, she knew.

"I know…"

He then gave her a look. "I understand if you need to take some time."

She protested. "No, I…I want to be here."

She looked at him pointedly and he seemed to get the message. He looked to the right as he then said, "Okay, seven a.m." And she knew what that meant.

One look to the right was their code. She'd be in his room at one to talk to him.

* * *

><p>At exactly one minute until one, Hotch went to his door and propped it open…only to find JJ already on the other side of the door, wringing her hands in front of her.<p>

He quickly ushered her inside, making sure that no one had seen her lingering in the hall.

With their team of profilers, one never knew who would be up at what time of night. They all had crazy schedules, and tended to sleep erratically.

As JJ slipped into Hotch's room, the only thought in her head was, _Finally_. She had been anxiously waiting for one o' clock, unable to sleep. Luckily, Will was out like a light and slept like the dead, so she was able to leave without any worry of waking him.

It was a huge risk, but it was worth it so long as she could tell Aaron the truth.

As soon as she heard him close the door, she rushed to his arms and buried her face in his chest.

His arms came up and wrapped around her shoulders and she sighed…

She had never felt more safe than when she was in his arms. He was so strong and solid, everything that she'd ever wanted in her life…and he was going to be a father. Again. And from what she'd seen of how he had raised Jack, she wasn't the least bit worried.

"Aaron…" she said, slowly pulling back to look him in the eye.

He simply shook his head.

"It's alright, JJ…I understand that you want to start a new life, and I wish you and Will every happiness…"

As he spoke, JJ resisted the urge to hit him. Damn, that man just always had to expect the worse, didn't he?

"Aaron…no. I don't want your damn blessing!"

He gave her a look of surprise, partially because of her cursing. JJ never did that, and when she did it meant that the other person was in the wrong and that she was frustrated. Hotch immediately realized that he'd said something wrong, but wasn't sure what.

"JJ…?"

She pulled completely away this time, vehemently shaking her head. "I didn't want everything to turn out this way, I _really_ didn't, but Will showed up and…."

She gestured her hand to the empty air, with all that it implied.

He simply nodded, and then waited for her to continue. It was obvious, now, that she had something important to tell him. JJ then moved over to the bed in the room and sat on the end of it, looking down at the floor, and then back up at him, and then said…

"You're the father."

Hotch felt himself freeze…and then he was moving to the end of the bed and kneeling in front of her, placing his hands over hers where they lay to either side of her.

He looked up into her eyes, not quite believing what he was hearing...it was too good to be true.

"JJ…I…I…" He stuttered a moment, and then recuperated. "I'm the father?"

She nodded, tears in the corner of her eyes. "I guess, I guess I thought that you'd be happy, or something, but apparently not, so I'll just-"

He cut her off by pressing a firm, but loving kiss against her lips. He pulled back slowly, bringing his hands to her face, one finger absentmindedly tracing her jawline with a gentle and loving touch, his eyes filled with wonder.

"Thank you," he said, leaving her confused.

"Wha..what?"

He smiled his rare and radiant smile and repeated himself. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For letting me know, for letting me be a part of your life, for giving me everything that I ever could have hoped for…for being you."

JJ felt her heart expand a little more each time he said something. Did the man truly not know how wonderful he was? How could he not see his absolutely giving heart, his selflessness…his willingness to understand?

They shared a smile and both of them just drank in the moment, taking the time to enjoy what little time they had.

Because both of them knew the truth…they would be the only ones to know. This was one truth that could never be spoken out loud again, and they both knew that JJ would go on letting Will believe that he was the father…

…because what other choice was there?

* * *

><p><strong>END PART 9?**


	10. Already There

**Season 3 - Episode 9- "Penelope " - Already There**

It was late…or early, depending on how one looked at it.

JJ remembered it with vivid clarity. It was one of those moments in your life where everything slowed down, and yet, at the same time, your senses were magnified by a thousand.

She remembered slowly waking up in Hotch's arms, hearing his phone ring on the nightstand. She remembered how he had reached over her to grab the phone, his body pressing deliciously against her as he did so…and then she remembered the look.

As he was told over the phone, that one of his friends, Penelope Garcia, was in the hospital that night after being shot.

He hung up the phone, his last words being, "I'll be there as soon as I can."

JJ sat up as he leaned forward and put his head in his hands for a brief moment, and she reached for one of his hands. At that, he looked up, his eyes scarily wide, and he simply said…

"Penelope's been shot."

JJ's other hand shot to her mouth, barely believing what she was hearing, but she then quickly reacted. Both of them did. Quickly, Hotch grabbed his cell and dialed Jessica, his ex-sister-in-law, and told her that he was dropping Jack off.

Then the both of them rushed to the car and quickly dropped the young Hotchner boy off while the two of them sped over to the hospital, determined to be there for their friend.

JJ now sat in one of the waiting room chairs, knowing that Spencer would be arriving any minute.

Hotch had called him not long ago.

She worried her hands together, slightly jazzed and on edge because of the coffee she'd had only a few minutes earlier that Hotch had given her, but at the same time, she was completely numb inside at what was happening.

She dimly realized that coming straight from Hotch's house wasn't the best idea, but she hoped that everyone would be distracted enough to not notice that her and Hotch had arrived at the same time…and that someone would give her a ride back to her house.

Suddenly, the elevator pinged and Spencer stepped out.

She walked up to him.

"She's in surgery," she said a bit shakily. "There's no word."

A look of absolute disbelief crossed the young genius's face and she sympathized with him.

"This is crazy…"

She inwardly agreed, but for different reasons. She silently hoped that Spencer, with his eidetic memory, did _not_ notice that her hair was slightly off kilter, as was Hotch's, that her makeup was smeared, and that she was one button off on her shirt…she would have to fix that before the rest of the team arrived.

The fact that they were both still in their work clothes from the day before should have been a dead giveaway that something was wrong, but, morbidly she thought, she was pretty sure that no one would notice.

Hotch walked behind her and she silently basked in his unspoken support…

…thank God, he was there with her.

* * *

><p><strong>END PART 10?**


	11. Never Perfect

**Season 3 - Episode 11 - "Birthright" - Never Perfect**

"You okay?" Hotch asked, and she said nothing for a moment.

JJ stood next to him, trying to understand the nature of the world around her.

"You stop caring and you're jaded…if you care too much, it'll ruin you…" There was a pause of silence, and then Hotch said…

"Just know that you did everything you could." His glance then pulled away from her. "Sometimes we get it right with a little luck, most of the times we don't; that's the job. It's never perfect…it's still better to care."

She said nothing for a moment, and then replied with, "You really believe that?"

Their eyes caught and she could see the pain in them.

"I believe it's never perfect."

With that he walked away, leaving her wondering as to what he hadn't told her. She had been with him now for quite a while and knew him more than he knew himself sometimes…and she knew that he was holding something back.

That something was wrong…

* * *

><p>"Agent Hotchner?" said a man as he walked through the glass doors to the bullpen.<p>

"Yes…"

He handed him the yellow envelope, and Hotch recognized it for what it was. Yes, it was exactly as Haley had told him. He quickly signed the clipboard, Prentiss asking him what it was, but he stayed silent until he had handed it back to the young man, and then turned to face the team.

"Haley's filing for divorce…I've been served."

He quickly turned away, not wanting to see the look on JJ's face. She would be absolutely devastated for him, and he didn't want to see hers or anyone else's pity.

JJ reeled at what she had just heard, and then suddenly Hotch's words from earlier made sense.

"_I believe it's never perfect…"_

Yes, she understood that. The two of them had both known what they were getting into when they had started their relationship, and had remained quiet throughout. They had coordinated everything so that no one would ever find out…and no one had.

Haley had never known…that's not what the divorce was about. It was about time that he wasn't able to give that she felt she deserved.

Her and Hotch weren't perfect, but JJ felt that they were pretty darn close.

Both of them knew what the job entailed, both of them knew the sacrifices involved, and both of them knew the emotional toll it took on each of them.

No…not everything was perfect in life. People were killed every day, people got divorced every day, and yet, at the same time, people found hope, people realized their dreams…people found love. And that, JJ knew, was something that was simply a fact of life.

Nothing was perfect…but at least they had each other.

* * *

><p>JJ lay next to him that night, both of them fully clothed under the covers, and she ran a hand through his hair.<p>

"Why didn't you tell me Haley was filing for divorce?"

Hotch turned his head and looked at her, his eyes carefully scanning her own. "What would you have done, JJ?"

She opened her mouth to respond…and suddenly realized that he was right. Telling her would have accomplished nothing; in fact, it might have ruined what they already had. She lay her head down on his shoulder and dropped her hand to his chest.

His lips brushed her ear as he spoke.

"For what it's worth…I would have stayed with you even if you had tried to push me away. Nothing will ever take me away from you…"

He didn't say the three words that she longed to hear, but she knew that this was his way of saying them. Maybe nothing was ever perfect….

…but this certainly came close.

* * *

><p><strong>END PART 11?**


	12. We Didn't Have That Ten Years Ago

**Season 3 - Episode 6 - "About Face" - We Didn't Have That Ten Years Ago **

"Wow," said Rossi, his eyes following the blonde media liaison as she walked out into the bullpen. "We didn't have _that_ ten years ago…"

Hotch immediately became defensive, not wanting to relay the real reason why he was doing so.

If anyone could read him, David Rossi could.

"What do you mean?" he asked pointedly, trying to keep the tension from his voice.

Rossi gave him an appraising look.

"Communications coordinator," he clarified, but at the same time noticed the tone in his old friend's voice. It sounded like he might be stepping on some toes.

Hotch nodded his head.

"Right."

But now Rossi was wondering and ideas were forming in his head…and when David Rossi came up with ideas, the best plan for anyone in his line of sight was to run for the hills. Otherwise, they would _eventually_ be caught in his trap.

Hotch was fully aware of this, and now realized that for the rest of the time that Rossi worked with them, he would have to be on his guard.

Dave would not let go of this. He knew that Dave had most likely seen the micro-expression flit across his face.

Hotch inwardly groaned. Great, just great.

Not only was he going to have to curtail his normal reactions, but he was also going to have to stop the hidden glances as well. Rossi was too observant and would catch him in an instant. No one should ever need know about his feelings for JJ…_especially _not Rossi.

* * *

><p><strong>END PART 12?**


	13. The Purest Thing In Your Life

**Season 5 - Episode 3 - "Reckoning" - The Purest Thing In Your Life**

"Dave, he's threatening my family," Hotch said, trying to understand what his old friend was trying to tell him.

Rossi nodded. "And we'll get Foyett, Aaron…"

"Okay, then what's your point?"

At this, Rossi leaned forward, his eyes drilling into Hotch's, trying to will him to understand the true meaning of his words as he spoke them.

"You have a family…when all this is over, what are _you_ gonna do to make sure you're not a lonely guy wondering why you let the purest thing in _your_ life, get away?" Hotch didn't know what to say, so Rossi fell silent, the two of them simply staring at the other.

He knew what Rossi meant, however…and it wasn't Haley.

His eyes glanced briefly towards JJ in her seat only a few feet away, and he knew that Dave had seen his look.

Dave knew. That was why he'd said what he'd said earlier about his childhood sweetheart knowing that they would forever be star-crossed lovers.

It was a pointed comment to Hotch about one of the things that he'd screwed up in his life…one of the what-ifs that he'd never acted on. And probably never would, and that was what had him near tears as Rossi had spoken.

He was right. JJ _was_ the purest thing in his life, next to Jack.

When no one else could get through to him, she could. When everyone else was afraid to approach him, she did.

She was his touchstone in times of absolute turmoil, though the admission would never cross his lips…and then a quote came to him.

"_For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: it might have been…"_

He couldn't remember who had said it, but he knew that he painfully understood what the writer meant. He knew the pain, and he could feel the heart-wrenching agony that ached in his chest every single time he caught the bright young woman's gaze.

Yes…

She truly was the purest thing in his life.

* * *

><p><strong>END PART 13?**


	14. Inside the Mind

**Season 6 - Episode 20 - "Hanley Waters" - Inside the Mind**

Hotch sat in the room with Morgan, trying to help him with his grief over Emily, even though Hotch knew the truth.

"I mean," Derek said, "We come in here and we talk to you. Where do you go? Where are you with all of this?"

Aaron dropped his eyes, his secret burning within…

Where did he go?

He went to a blonde woman almost every night; a woman that he'd known for seven years, and then had left him (well, the unit)…only to come back into his life as his own personal savior.

And her name was Jennifer Jareau.

He lifted his head and lied through his teeth.

"The same place as you…wishing she was here."

But in his mind, he was remembering their nights together…he was remembering their nights…

* * *

><p>His hands fitted themselves to her body, dragging her up to meet him in an all-consuming kiss, the likes of which neither had ever known existed.<p>

Hotch lost himself in the heat of the moment, something that he had never tried before, and found that he liked it.

Arching into his touch, JJ gave herself up to his more experienced hands, losing herself in the overwhelming rush of hormones, and Hotch quickly discovered that it was quite easy to put his rational side down in order to have the chance to experience what he was feeling at that very moment.

It was perfection in every sense of the word.

There was shoving, grabbing, nails scratching and teeth biting…there was also sliding, slick, wet heat, and melting. The joining was everything that he could have hoped for, but held the slight edge of pain to it that had made it unique to her and her alone.

As he moved inside her, she gripped ever tighter with her legs and arms, memorizing the feel of him against her.

Every ridge and vein could be felt in the way he thrust against her, and she relished in it.

She longed for him to go deeper, longed for him to be as close to her as was physically possible, and Hotch answered her unspoken plea and responded with such enthusiasm so as to leave her incapable of coherent thought.

It was utter intoxication. She was a drug and he was fully addicted just from one taste…

…And he didn't want to give that taste up.

Not for anything.

* * *

><p><strong>END PART 14?**


	15. Behind the Nickname

**Season 7 - Episode 6 - "Epilogue" - Behind the Nickname**

Hotch nodded and then said to Garcia,

"Garcia, start compiling a list of missing persons and violent crimes in the area."

Their beloved tech analyst, obviously not thinking as she responded, quickly replied.

"Faster than a Hotch-rocket…"

He gave her a look and her eyes widened almost comically as she then quickly shut off the video and communications. One thought ricocheted around her mind at what she had just said…

_JJ is _so_ going to kill me…_

* * *

><p>JJ sat in her office, glad to be back at work with the team, but silently thrilled that she was allowed to keep her previous office.<p>

Her phone rang and as she looked at the caller I.D., she smiled.

Of course he would call her while he was just the next office over…it was his way of breaking rules without anyone knowing. He would simply start talking before she actually picked up and she would simply pretend to stay on the phone after he had hung up on his side, so no one would be the wiser if they were watching.

Not looking up, she pressed the button and put the phone to her ear.

"Hey, you…" was all she said, and she was rewarded with his laughter. He had a wonderful laugh, and she did everything she could to hear it regularly.

"Hey, yourself. Did you miss your office?"

She let out a laugh of her own and twirled in her chair, facing towards her wall, keeping herself away from the prying eyes of her team.

Closing her blinds would be too suspicious, so she went for a subtle way to avoid them. It had been hard keeping their relationship a secret but it was worth it…it was worth every single stolen and hidden moment that they had.

"Yeah, I did. It's nice to be back…did you miss me?"

He chuckled again. "You know I did. Why do think I was the one who gave the suggestion to Rossi to bring you back on the team?"

"That was you, huh?"

She could practically hear him smiling on the other end of the line and she couldn't help but smile herself and say, "You're smiling, aren't you?"

He laughed. "Yes…and so are you."

She pushed her foot against the floor, rotating her chair back and forth and laughed at his observation. A thought came to her mind, and she grinned as she voiced it, wondering how he would take it.

"So…I was wondering…what are you doing for lunch today?"

"You're serious?" She said nothing, and simply waited for his response. A few seconds passed, and then he said, "Blue Moon, Thai food, one o' clock?"

JJ grinned.

"Count on it…I'll be there faster than a Hotch-rocket…"

As she finished what she was saying, she became aware of the fact that someone was standing in her doorway…and that that someone was none other than their sweet tech-analyst, Penelope Garcia, who was now gaping at JJ at what she'd just heard.

"Gotta go," said JJ, quickly hanging up the phone.

"Uhh…who were you just talking to?" Garcia's tone was slightly nervous, and JJ realized that she was going to have to tell her friend the truth and swear her to secrecy.

JJ quickly got up and shut the door behind her friend and then headed over to her, placed Garcia in the chair that she'd just vacated, and then quickly explained the situation.

After she was finished, she sat back on the edge of her desk and waited for her reaction. The tech analyst was quiet for a moment, and then said,

"A Hotch-rocket? Seriously?"

And then she started giggling. JJ found it contagious, and soon the both of them were giggling uncontrollably. JJ finally caught her breath and managed to calm down enough to respond.

"It was something we started as a joke and it caught on, alright?"

Garcia just smiled.

"Don't worry, Jayje…your secret's safe with me."

* * *

><p>JJ stared at the now empty video monitor and silently seethed at Garcia's mistaken words. Oh, that girl was going to <em>pay<em> for her mistake…

* * *

><p><strong>Part 15?**


	16. Personal Trainer

**Season 7 - Episode 14 - "Closing Time" - Personal Trainer**

Hotch approached JJ as she sat on the back of the ambulance and ignored Reid's incessant worrying. Their eyes caught…

"You okay?" he asked, true concern lacing his tone.

"Yeah, I will be," she said, nodding towards the boy heading over to his mom. "What about him?"

Hotch looked over in the same direction and said nothing as he watched the mother and son embrace each other both of them crying. He knew that they would eventually heal, as he had after Haley, and that things would be alright…but he was still worried about JJ.

Back on the Bureau, he was several steps behind them when he heard Morgan say to JJ,

"JJ, all I'm saying is that I ain't _never_ you making _you_ angry again…I mean, who knew that Pennsylvania-petite could give such an ass-whooping?"

Hotch smiled as he heard JJ respond with, "Well, I'm just glad that my hand to hand coach could work his schedule around my state department duties…"

Yes…he _had_ been able to work his schedule quite nicely for the two of them…not that Morgan knew that.

"It's my pleasure," Morgan replied. "I'm just really grateful that it all paid off."

She nodded.

"You were great out there…I'm proud of you…now, why don't you get your little butt home? I'm sure Will's waiting on you."

JJ tried not cringe when Morgan mentioned Will. No one needed to know that they weren't exactly on speaking terms on the moment. She quickly came up with a lie, knowing exactly where she was _really_ going to be headed that night.

"Uhhh, yeah…well, we did have dinner reservations, but, um, thinking we'll do takeout instead," she said, motioning towards her bruises. "Thanks, Derek."

"Yeah…"

He placed a hand on her shoulder and she went over to her desk, knowing that her first stop that night would be at a small brownstone with a certain Unit Chief that she knew.

She smiled to herself as she remembered the other training that she'd been receiving.

Derek was good…but Hotch was better. Not that she'd ever tell anyone about the extra time that she'd been spending with their stoic leader.

She grinned as she remembered their last session…

* * *

><p>"JJ, you should have blocked me! That was weak…let's try it again."<p>

JJ groaned, slowly pushing herself back up from off the mat. Hotch was an even bigger drill sergeant in one-on-one sessions than he was with the team in the field.

_Call me weak, do you? _she thought to herself as she stood. She saw his back was turned, so she attacked…

She hit him from behind and they both fell to the mat, where she couldn't help but grin at his shocked expression from where he lay face down on the mat, her sprawled on top of his back and legs. He obviously had not been expecting the attack…and then a grin crossed his face and he said,

"Now _that_ was better."

She started to giggle and he joined her for a brief moment, and then moved to his back and dragged her up over his body.

JJ placed her hands to either side of his head and looked down at him, a grin playing at her lips.

"So…hand to hand over then?" she said as she felt his left hand begin to trace circles up and down her thigh.

He gave her a devious grin in response.

"Oh no…in fact, it's just beginning…" He then suddenly flipped them over and leaned down and grabbed her lips in a bruising kiss.

_Oh yes_, she thought to herself. _Training with Hotch is _definitely_ better…_

* * *

><p><strong>Part 16?**


	17. If You Want to Be Mad at Someone

**Season 7 - Episode 2 - "Proof" - If You Want to Be Mad at Someone**

Hotch could see the way that Reid was treating JJ and his heart went out to her. It hadn't been easy for either of them to keep the secret of Prentiss being alive, but he knew that it had been harder on JJ, because of her situation with Reid throughout the past few weeks.

He gave out the assignments.

"Morgan and Prentiss take the first, Dave and I will take the second."

They all stood from their seats, and JJ turned to Hotch.

"And what about us?" she asked, obviously referring to her and Reid.

"Stay here and check VICAP for similar M.O.'s and signatures…" JJ moved away. "Reid."

The young genius walked over to him, and Hotch let him have it.

"If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me," he said, looking Reid in the eye, but Reid pulled his gaze away.

"I can't…I didn't come to your house crying for ten weeks…"

With that, he walked away, while Hotch bit down on his tongue to keep certain words from flying off his lips. There was one thing that he was desperate to say to him, but he knew that JJ wanted to deal with Reid on her own.

Instead, he simply thought them to himself…

_No, you didn't, but JJ came crying my house for ten weeks because of pain of the fact that she couldn't tell you the truth…_

He wanted to say the words so badly, but he knew that he couldn't.

However, the memory of her coming over to his house every other night at around one in the morning was burned into his mind. Her eyes puffy and red from crying in her car on the way over from her own house, her body shaking like a leaf when he held in her in his arms, trying to comfort her.

They had grown close because of what had happened, but at what cost? At the cost of her losing one of her closest friends?

It was a hard burden bear, and at times Hotch hated himself for putting JJ in that position and he told her so on more than one occasion, but every time she told him it was alright.

He silently prayed that Reid forgave her, because he didn't know what he would do if she ended up in pain because of the secret that they'd kept.

The pain she'd already been through was enough for her. She didn't deserve this.

* * *

><p>"How's Reid?" Rossi asked.<p>

Hotch inwardly sighed at the question, but merely said, "He's angry and frustrated." _At the wrong person,_ he silently added in his mind. "I'm surprised everybody isn't."

Rossi then replied with,

"Eh, some of us had an inkling…"

This caused Hotch to look up at him in surprise, and he exchanged a look with Dave, who then replied.

"What? I'm good at what I do." Hotch continued to give him a look, but Rossi brushed it off. "So, are you going to get psychological counseling for the team or are you going to handle it internally?"

"No," said Hotch. "I was just thinking if maybe we all got together, a cooking lesson at the home-"

Rossi cut him off. "Oh, no, no, no, no…not you too!"

"It could boost morale," Hotch finished, giving his old friend a look that Rossi had seen too many times. Hotch was much more sly and sneaky then he let on, but when he wanted something, he would inevitably get it.

"Is this an order?"

"No, no…" Hotch said unconvincingly. "It's just a very…tempered suggestion."

"Yeah, tempered suggestion," Rossi said brushing him off, leaving Hotch grinning behind him.

But in the back of Hotch's mind, he worried about what Rossi had said. If Rossi had had an inkling about Prentiss not really being dead, then he had most likely picked up on the slight shift in his and JJ's relationship.

He just prayed that Rossi didn't try and play matchmaker…because usually when he did, it ended up in nothing but misfired communications and a bungled mess of emotions.

He _had _to throw Rossi off the trail.

Time to start being distant and find someone to make the man happy…maybe he should date a random brunette. That would lead Rossi to believe that he'd moved on, and he would forget about him and JJ. Yes, a random brunette it was.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 17?**


	18. Because She Knows I Can Do This

**Season 3 - Episode 14 - "Damaged" - Because She Knows I Can Do _This_**

"Wait…what _was_ Rossi doing at your apartment?" JJ asked Garcia, as she leaned back in her chair.

"Well, that's a good-" Garcia cut herself off, remembering that she wasn't supposed to say a word. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone."

"Why?"

She shuffled some things on the front of JJ's desk. "I didn't press the issue…I was all, naked, and all drippy…"

"Right," JJ said, nodding in understanding. "Doesn't showering with someone always seem like a better idea before you're actually doing it?"

Garcia laughed and nodded in agreement. "Yes, it is a bit of a workout…"

"I mean," the media liaison said with a stressed tone, "There comes a point when a girl's just got to wash her hair alone, you know?"

She reminisced briefly about her own, one-time, extremely awkward experience that she'd had while in college. Suddenly, her phone started to ring and she looked down to see who was calling…and she could barely believe her eyes.

"Hmm…well, this is turning into some morning," JJ commented to Garcia before picking up. "Mrs. Hotchner…"

"_Hi, Jennifer…I've been trying to call Aaron on his cell, but I haven't been able to reach him…"_ Her tone was icy and JJ unconsciously straightened in her seat at the sound of it.

"Well, that would make sense because he's in a prison right now, so sometimes cell service can be-"

Haley cut her off. _"Well, you better tell him to call me back as soon as he can, or else divorce papers will be the _least _of his problems. Oh, and Jennifer, don't even pretend that cell service is the problem; I know he's dodging my calls…but I'm guessing he _never_ dodges yours or the team's."_

"Oh, well, yeah, if I can get a hold of him, I'll…"

"_Oh, _if _you can get a hold of him, right. Don't deny it. He's more married to his precious team than he ever was to me…just tell him I need to talk to him,"_ she said, her tone still arctic.

"Okay."

JJ inwardly winced at the sound of the dead air after Haley hung up.

"That is one _seriously_ pissed off lady," she said, casting a look towards Garcia as she pressed the end button on her own phone, finishing with the explanation of, "She can't get Hotch on his cell phone."

Garcia looked on in surprise and confusion, and then asked,

"Why would she call you?"

JJ would never admit to the real reason, so she simply demonstrated, pressing the number one on her speed dial.

"Because she knows I can do _this_…"

She only had to wait for two rings, and she immediately had Hotch on his cell.

"_Hey, JJ…what's going on?"_

JJ bit her lip, trying to figure out how she could put Haley's words as delicately as possible, not wanting to upset her boss.

"Uhm, Haley just called me and said that she wasn't able to reach you. She wants you to call her as soon as possible…I, uhm, I told her that you were at a prison and that cell service can be odd, but she was, uh, rather adamant about you calling."

"_Yeah, JJ,"_ was his response, but she could hear the weariness in his tone.

She paused a moment, and then asked, "Is everything okay? Can I do anything to help?"

"_Uhm, no, it's-it's a personal matter."_

"Well, alright. If you want, I'll tell her that I wasn't able to reach you…you know, give you some time?"

"_Yes, thank you…I will take care of it when I get back."_

"Anytime, Hotch."

The line then went silent and that was when she realized that Hotch had hung up. She wasn't surprised; going through a divorce could _not_ be easy, especially when his son Jack was involved. She knew how much he cared for that little boy.

She sighed, and leaned back in her chair once more, and exchanged a look with Garcia.

However, Garcia was intrigued by JJ's side of the conversation, and was not going to let the opportunity slide by her to ask JJ about it.

"Uh, JJ…" she said, catching the media liaison's attention. "Why did you offer to lie to his wife for him? Don't you think that's kind of…oh, I don't know, personal? Interfering, maybe?"

JJ sighed, wondering how she could explain it to the tech analyst. She and Hotch had been friends for quite a long time and had known each other longer than anyone else on the team, and the two of them had developed an understanding between them.

She took a breath and attempted to explain.

"Garcia…when you've been friends with someone for a little over four years, you tend to be able to tell when they need help and when they'll accept that help. Hotch and I both understand that he doesn't cope with change very well, and divorce is about the worst thing for him to have to go through…"

She paused, giving her friend a moment to digest the information.

After a second, Garcia's eyes widened and she looked at JJ as though she'd never seen her before.

"Wait a sec…you've known Hotch for over four years? But, but, but you've only been with the team for three years…"

JJ gave the tech analyst a look.

"Okay, I tell you all about the trust in our friendship, how we rely on each other to have each other's backs…and _that's_ what you notice? How long we've known each other?"

Garcia returned her look with a pointed glare, one that only someone like Garcia could give that made a person feel as though they were only an inch tall and that she could squash them like a bug if she wanted to.

"Okay," she started. "First of all, I want to know how Mrs. Hotchner has your phone number, and second of all, when you first met Hotch."

JJ relented, realizing that there was no way that she would be able to dodge the woman's questions.

"Okay, fine. I'll tell you."

Garcia clapped her hands together in triumph at getting her way, and then leaned forward on JJ's desk, her eyes twinkling.

"To answer your first question, Haley had my phone number because-"

"Wait a second," interrupted Garcia. "You're on a first name basis with the woman?"

JJ glared. "Look, do you want answers to your questions, or do you want…?"

Her question faded as she realized that Garcia was expecting an answer to that particular question as well, and was not going to back down until she had it. Like a dog with a bone, she was absolutely relentless.

"Fine…When I first met Hotch, it was when I first started working at the Bureau. I wasn't yet with the BAU, but he asked for my assistance on a case, anyway, because they needed press coverage in order to draw their unsub out. This was about a year before I actually 'joined' the team. I helped, and after that case he invited me to join him and his team for dinner...where I then met Haley as he brought her along," she finished, answering two of the three questions.

Garcia continued to give her a look, so she finally answered the last question, which had been the first question that the tech analyst had asked.

"Haley has my phone number because I'm Hotch's non-family emergency contact, as well as the number one speed dial on his home phone."

She then saw the third question coming, so she quickly cut her off with the answer.

"And I'm number one speed dial not just for non-family emergencies, but because he always has to call me first before he calls the rest of the team for when we go on a case, as I'm the one who fills out the paperwork for us to use the jet…"

JJ gave Garcia a pointed look, and the woman relented, but she could still see a faint gleam in her eyes.

"It's just…you've only known him a few years, but Rossi has known him for a lot longer…so why isn't Rossi his speed dial number one at home? He could just as easily made you number two…"

And with that last comment, she walked out of JJ's office.

JJ stared after her, silently proud of herself that she hadn't leaked that she was also speed dial one on Hotch's cell phone…and that he was number one on hers as well.

She sighed and leaned back in her chair again, looking at the piles of folders stacked on every available surface in her office. Her and Hotch's relationship was a complicated one, but she liked it…even though at times she felt like she was a mistress of sorts.

As Haley had said, he _was_ more married to his work than to her…which was why they were getting a divorce.

It was weird now that she thought it through.

It was like, he had chosen their friendship over his marriage…but of course that wasn't what he was doing. He loved his job, he was good at it, and he needed it…

That _was_ the reason…

…right?

* * *

><p><strong>Part 18?**


	19. Aaron

**Season 7 - Episode 23 - "Hit" - Aaron…**

The S.W.A.T team got into position…and then JJ saw who was walking forward.

Will.

She started to scream his name, tried to run after him, but both Morgan and Prentiss held her back, and she felt the tears run down her cheeks. She noticed, however, that Hotch had not tried to stop her.

What was her boyfriend thinking? Did he have a death wish?

Two gunshots.

She felt her heart plummet.

* * *

><p>They sat in the command center, quiet.<p>

JJ could see the looks that they gave her, and she couldn't take it. The pity was too much.

"Did you see where he was shot?"

Everyone knew that her question was directed towards Garcia. Her tone was dead, and Hotch could see the blank look starting to cloud her eyes. He knew the feeling; he'd been there himself…and he knew she was starting to feel numb.

"Is he alive or dead, Garcia?" she asked after a long silence.

"I, I don't know," she replied, and then Prentiss interjected with, "He was wearing a vest. He might be okay…"

Hearing those two words, "might be", only enflamed her and she felt herself, more than heard herself, spitting out the words in retaliation as though they were poison on her tongue.

"Might be…"

Rossi suddenly walked into the command post, his stride quick and determined. "They're not answering."

JJ stood.

"Alright, we need to get inside…"

"JJ," Morgan interrupted. "It's too risky…we don't have eyes in there anymore."

He gave her a pointed look, but she turned her head away and looked towards Hotch, silently pleading with him, trying to make him understand.

If it were Hotch in there, she wouldn't have even waited for permission, and she would have barged in there, and she knew that he knew that she wasn't in love with Will in the same way as she was in love with him, but that she held onto the man because she wanted Henry to know his real father.

"Aaron…"

She spoke his first name in desperation, knowing that he would get the message.

She only ever spoke his name when they were alone, no one around to hear…but she was desperate for him to understand.

He nodded.

"Let's go in."

With that, he turned and walked out, his heart in his throat.

He was doing this for her and no one else. Honestly, he could care less for William La Montagne, Jr., but he cared for _her_ and she cared for the man, so he was taking the risk. He would do anything for that petite Pennsylvanian blonde.

He would do anything.

For her.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 19?**


	20. Living A Lie

**Season 7 - Episode 24 - "Run" - Living A Lie**

JJ couldn't believe that Rossi had done all of this.

And she couldn't believe that she had just gone through with it.

When she had asked Will to ask her again, and then had said yes, only an hour later she had been regretting it. She had still been in shock and had been desperate for an affirmation of love, and she'd done the one thing she could think of to hold onto the illusion.

Yes, she loved Will…but not enough to marry him.

And now it was too late.

She danced with him most of the evening, the entire time keeping her eyes away from Hotch. The true love of her life.

He had brought Beth with him, but every profiler there could see that he was holding back with her, that the smile he gave her never truly reached his eyes…that Beth was nothing but a temporary emotional crutch until he moved on.

But only he and JJ knew the truth.

He had already moved on.

With Jennifer Jareau.

As soon as she was able to, she pulled away from Will and said she had to go inside and use the bathroom, and ran into Rossi's mansion and bolted upstairs to a room and began to cry.

What the hell was she going to do? How was she going to tell Will that it had all been a huge mistake? That she couldn't be married to him?

She had learned to fake it over the years, but of course, Aaron Hotchner was the only one who wasn't fooled by her forced casual smiles or her awkwardly flirtatious manner whenever she was around La Montagne.

She heard footsteps on the stairs, and she quickly brushed the back of her hand across her eyes, and stood…

…and was shocked as she saw Hotch enter the room.

"Hotch…"

He gave her a look.

"JJ."

They stood there for a moment…and then it was broken as they seemed to move at the same time and reached for the other.

Their mouths merged, and JJ couldn't help but let out a small moan of pleasure as his hands slid up her bare arms, over her shoulders, and his fingers wound themselves in her hair. She was in what was easily the most bittersweet moment she'd ever been in.

Yes, she was kissing the man that she loved…but she was now married to the one person she didn't truly love.

She cared for Will enough, but her heart had been taken by Aaron Hotchner ever since Prentiss had supposedly "died".

While the two of them had shared that secret, they had found solace in the other.

They had found love.

As he slowly pulled back from the kiss, Aaron could hardly believe what all had happened. She was married and still wearing her wedding dress, for god's sake! But he found that some part of him simply didn't care, and wanted nothing more than to lay the woman in front of him down on the floor and make sweet to love her all night.

He reigned in his impulses, and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, lowering his hands to her neck.

"Aaron…what are we going to do?"

He shook his head, not knowing what to say. Suddenly, JJ's eyes bolted open and she pulled back.

"Wait, what did you tell them when you came into the house?"

He gave her a soft smile, brushing a lock of hair back from her face. "I told Rossi that I needed some time alone, and then asked him to keep Beth distracted for the time being."

JJ gave him a look, arching an eyebrow.

"And he didn't ask any questions?" Hotch shook his head. "That's a first."

Her hands moved up to his, where they rested on her neck, and she let out a deep sigh. He could feel the tension that had collected along the muscle, and he gently kneaded it with his fingertips, trying to ease the ache.

However, she slowly pulled back and sat down on the small couch in the room that they'd hidden away in.

"Aaron…I really screwed things up. I mean, I _really_ screwed things up. I never wanted to marry Will, and I know that I would never want to in the future, and yet here I sit as a married woman."

He knelt down so that he could meet her eyes, and gently grasped her hand.

"I know, JJ…I know. I'm here for you, you know that, right?"

She nodded, but then tears filled her eyes and he found himself sitting on the couch next to her, grasping one of her hands in his, her head resting on his shoulder. He couldn't help but admire the dress that she wore; it was absolutely elegant and perfect for her in every way.

"I like your dress…"

She gave a hiccupped laugh. "Yeah. I thought…well, I thought that I would wear this for you, one day. But now…"

He squeezed her hand tightly, and slowly stood, bringing her with him.

"JJ, you probably need to get back."

She nodded, but held fast to his hand as he tried to leave the room. He gave her a confused look, wondering why she hadn't let go.

Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke.

"Aaron…run away with me."

He looked at her in shock, not quite believing what he had just heard, but she ignored his look and pulled him back towards her, wrapping her arms around his neck and pinning him with a deep and serious stare.

"I mean it, Aaron…run away with me."

He still didn't quite believe her, but then he heard a faint clink on the floor behind him, and she slid her hands to his chest.

He looked down at her left hand to see…nothing.

"JJ," he began to protest. "I've got Jack-"

"And I've got Henry, I know, Aaron, but they're both safe here for now. They couldn't be in better hands. Just…just come away with me long enough for me to get it annulled, and then… Well, then who knows?"

He looked at her as though he had never seen her before in his life, and she gave him a soft smile.

"Aaron, for once in my life I want to be selfish…I want _us_ to have what _we_ want, not what other people want _for_ us."

At that he smiled.

He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss, slowly pulling back and placing his forehead against hers.

"Okay."

* * *

><p><strong>Part 20?**

**A.N. - I felt the need to write this as I was furious for the last fifteen minutes of the show! Yes, I know I'm evil because I wanted Will to die, but it would have set it up perfectly for Hotch to pull away from Beth and begin to support JJ and then for the two of them to fall in love! AAARRRRGGHHHH! (I was making that noise for the entire last part of the finale) Now, I know that they would never really run away together, but I was writing for comfort, so this is what came out...love it, hate it, don't care, just review it! Love to all of my readers and reviewers!**


	21. You'll Be the First to Know

**CHAPTER 21:**

**Season 9 - Episode #1 - "The Inspiration"**

"I'll ask Garcia to compile a list of break-ins in the area, and also a missing person's report," Hotch said as he stepped into the room, completely unaware of the fact that the team had just been talking about him.

But then he looked at JJ…he could read her like a book and could see the faint tinge of pink on her cheeks. It was a tell-tale sign that she and the rest of the team been talking about him and the most recent rumours that he was going to be taking over Strauss's old job.

He then glanced at the rest of the team, saw them all staring, and said, "And, yes, they did talk to me about the Section Chief job."

JJ looked over at Reid as he asked, "You want it?"

Her gaze snapped back to Hotch, wondering what he would say.

"I know what I _don't_ want is an outsider coming in and questioning every move that this team makes." It wasn't a real answer and everyone in the room knew it. They were trained profilers, after all. "I told them that I'd think about it," he added, as though trying to reassure them, but JJ knew that it was for her.

Immediately, she asked the question on everyone's mind.

"So, what happens if you accept?"

He let out a sigh as he said, "It means, this would be my last case in the field, but nothing's been decided. As soon as I figure out what to do, you'll be the first to know."

He looked at her, barely noticing or acknowledging the rest of the team when he answered her question, especially at the words, _"You'll be the first to know."_ He looked her straight in the eye on those words, knowing that the two of them would be talking about the situation when they got back to Quantico.

How were they supposed to tell the rest of the team that both JJ and Hotch silently wanted him to take the job? That the whole reason that they wanted it, was so that they could have a stable home for Jack and Henry? So that they could be open about the relationship that they had been hiding in secret for the last few months? Hell, who were they kidding, _years_. It had started after Haley, but they had become physical in only the last few months.

JJ was more than aware of the fact that her husband was _not_ pulling late nights at work, but that he was having an affair.

She was a profiler, for god's sake…did he really think that he was getting away with it?

Once she'd figured it out, she had felt no shame in finally taking her relationship with Hotch to the next level.

…And it seemed that the next level included not only having the chance to actually _be_ with him at night on occasion, but that it also included playdates, where they soon discovered that Jack and Henry got along as if they were brothers.

JJ knew, in her heart, that she wouldn't mind it at all if that eventually became the case. She was fine with letting go of Will, and to make the change permanent with him. She knew that Hotch would be more than willing to take over that role in her son's life, and Henry already adored the man…

If he accepted the job, they could take the next step.

It could become permanent.

* * *

><p>Later, with Reid, it came up again.<p>

"What do you think about Hotch?" he asked as they walked away from the coffee vendor, and she was honest, but circumspect in her answer.

"I think it sucks."

Quickly, he asked, "What do we do?"

She was slightly stunned at the question, and answered without thinking about how it would sound… "Uhh, nothing."

"What do you mean nothing?" he asked her, incredulous at her reply. "I don't want him to leave…"

She could hear the almost childlike tone in his voice and it made her smile. Oh, Spencer. Hotch was the only father that he'd ever really had, especially after Gideon had left, and she'd been watching out for him the way that only a mother would. And she _had_ been a mother to him over the years.

Her tone was almost mothering as she said, "At least he'll still be around…"

"Yeah, with his _name_ on our reports…"

The childish tone again. She tried to console him and explain the situation from Hotch's perspective.

"Look, I'm sure it's hard for him and Rose, he's not going to admit it, but a desk job would be easier on Jack…" Oh crap, she'd let slip about Rose, his housekeeper. She was the only one who knew about her. She silently prayed Spencer hadn't noticed, and her prayer was answered.

A few seconds more of talking and he'd make a breakthrough in the case, and she followed behind him back into the precinct, but her mind was still on Hotch and what it would mean for the two of them if he took the Section Chief job.

It meant she could finally…dare she think it…_divorce_ Will. And move on with Hotch.

It was a heady feeling, and she knew that she couldn't dwell on it. If she thought about it too much, then she would drive herself mad.

No choice but to focus once more on the case.

She and Hotch would deal with it when they came to that crossroads…if they did.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 21?**


End file.
